tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post1787028280660002124..comments2024-01-25T00:27:51.801-05:00Comments on The Bee Charmer: When the Answer is NoThe Bee Charmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00428862101034344034noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-81943644785616901502011-10-28T14:06:40.334-04:002011-10-28T14:06:40.334-04:00Again, I could have written this post {minus the b...Again, I could have written this post {minus the being engaged part}. <br />I also REFUSE to sit around and wait to get married...or work myself to death trying to find the guy. <br />I am happy where I am. Perhaps I will get married some day, but if not, I am okay. Why don't others understand that??teresa-bughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06661927724520535619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-71200543880721835932011-10-26T19:07:05.420-04:002011-10-26T19:07:05.420-04:00Thank you all for your sweet comments. And Jane? ...Thank you all for your sweet comments. And Jane? Your comment should have been a whole guest post!The Bee Charmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00428862101034344034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-87690445169130592011-10-26T18:57:58.392-04:002011-10-26T18:57:58.392-04:00I love this. I love that you respect marriage the ...I love this. I love that you respect marriage the way I do. I love that it is a choice we can make, many women still do not have this choice. But mostly I love when you say:<br />"I believe that when you stand up in front of God and that company and make those vows, you should mean them. Let me say that again. I think you should mean them. And not just today. Today and forever. Til death do you part." <br />Because that is the most courageous of all.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09010695215604511554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-33232177706737661412011-10-26T15:00:29.548-04:002011-10-26T15:00:29.548-04:00Y.E.S. Amen sister.Y.E.S. Amen sister.Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09419801317170775691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-23129399874975760282011-10-26T11:23:05.535-04:002011-10-26T11:23:05.535-04:00I've been married now for join on 9 years - so...I've been married now for join on 9 years - so being single doesn't describe me. However....I chose to not have children. <br />Think you get shit for being single? Try being "of child-bearing age" AND married AND not wanting to have kids. <br />I have absolutely no biological clock when it comes to kids. My husband has a grown son from his 1st marriage & the kid lived half way across the country so we all never really interacted much.<br />So when people ask if I have kids..it goes something like this:<br />Them: So do you have kids?<br />Me: no.<br />Them: How long have you 2 been married?? <br />Me: (fill in the appropriate # of years)<br />Them: Well you don't want to put it off too long....<br />Me: I'd like to put it off for forever actually.<br />Them: (confounded look on their face) You don't like kids?<br />Me: I like other peoples kids (not always, but I say that so not to be insulting) but I just never had the urge or need to have kids.<br />Them: (bewildered AND confounded look on their face) Well you would change your mind once you have kids & never regret it.<br />Me: Well I had a tubal electrosurg ligation back when I was 32 years old, so I eliminated that option.<br />Them: (horrified look on their face) What about your husband? Doesn't he want kids???<br />Me: He has a grown son from a 1st marriage - he's good.<br />Them: (defensive stance) Well I just cannot imagine not having/wanting children.<br />Me: I can't imagine having/wanting children. It all evens out.<br />and so on...<br /><br />Typically the "them's" end up standing back from me as if I'm some self-centered, selfish, kid-hater that they don't want to be associated with.<br /><br />My thinking is that I put a hell of a lot of thinking into my decision to NOT have kids, but I hear all too often of some (some not ALL - but some) women's quick, foolish & not very well thought out decision to have kids. Whether they are trying to desperately hang on to a failing relationship or giving in to peer pressure or the so-called ticking clock syndrome. I didn't just run out one Tuesday & get a tubal surgery - I had to wait until I was a certain age before my doctor would go forward with the surgery just to make sure I was of clear mind & decision. You can bet I thought it through. Yet I know of more than a few women who "forgot to take their BCP's" & got pregnant or secretly stopped taking BC so they could get pg & save their marriage (????) or fulfill some void or have kids because...well "aren't you supposed to have kids".<br /><br />I got no unfilled voids. My life is "complete"...well except for that vacation home in Key West - but we're working on that. I don't need a kid to take care of me in my golden years or to continue on my family heritage for genealogy sake. It's all good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-63234336171493742842011-10-26T10:14:28.868-04:002011-10-26T10:14:28.868-04:00I agree with Leslie. I'm single and that's...I agree with Leslie. I'm single and that's exactly right. If I meet someone I want and can commit to for life, someone who I love and respect wholeheartedly, I will get married. I'd never be happy marrying someone to keep up with the Joneses. Tonya you are awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-173159704610014488.post-5168067887906802372011-10-26T08:58:30.129-04:002011-10-26T08:58:30.129-04:00This may be the most awesome post I've ever re...This may be the most awesome post I've ever read. I kid you not. To have that kind of insight into your own heart and mind is what we should all aspire to...and what I suspect the vast majority of people never achieve. Good for you for knowing who you are, and being true to that and for respecting marriage for the sacred rite that it is.Lesliehttp://www.teammonkeyfish.comnoreply@blogger.com