Happy News

Good morning all!

I wanted to share some happy news with you all -

First of all -

Please meet Theodore Atticus or Teddy for short. 

He is 7 months old and, as you can see, he is not a corgi and he has stolen our hearts.  I have to say that I still cry almost daily in my grief (teary moments as opposed to sobs) but this baby is a joy to us. 


This is my husband and our children.  He has been kind enough to share these precious ones with me and they have been kind enough to share themselves. 

I feel a new burst of creative energy and I have missed you all and this little blog.  Its going to have to morph a bit but if you're still hanging with me - expect some changes and lots of new posts soon.  


Tonya and Gary


Goodbye, my darling


I wanted to let you all know that we lost our little Lola Bean on Tuesday - just about one month after Finn.  She had a stroke in the night and we could not save her. 

My heart is broken. 

In the end, I just don't think she could do without Finn.  They always belonged to each other more than they belonged to me and she was lost without him.  If it makes any difference, I think she tried.  But her heart was more broken than I knew.

It's so hard for me to accept that this shining little light is gone from my life.  I know that they are together now and I hope they will always be. 


Tonya and Gary




We wanted to let you all know that we lost Finn on Monday night - around midnight. He started seizing at around 10:00 p.m. and although we could ease his symptoms we could not help him and we knew that the cancer had taken a hold from which it would not let go.  He was happy and content right to the end - he had such a strong heart!  But on Monday we knew that is was his time and we know that he is now at peace. 

He had the most beautiful day - and 3 bites of steak for dinner.  And he had the most beautiful life.  He gave us every happiness and we can only pray that we, in turn, gave every happiness to him.

We are so blessed to have had him in our lives and we are eternally grateful that he was so happy and filled with such strength and such joy and such love.  He was - truly- the sweetest and most gentle soul we have ever known.   We are blessed and honored that we had as much time with him as we did and are forever and endlessly grateful for the deep, beautiful blessing of his life.  

But - losing him - the heart simply breaks open....  


Tonya, Gary and Lola Bean.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh


Our Little Finn


Please keep our little Finn in your prayers.  On Wednesday night he experienced two seizures - the second much worse than the first.  We rushed him to the emergency vet.

After blood tests they discovered that his glucose is very low and that he most likely has an insulinoma, a pancreatic cancer.  Given his age, we have chosen not to put him through aggressive treatment.  We have consulted with our (his) vet and the internist who specializes in these things and have agreed to treat him with steroids and food management for as long as we can keep him comfortable.  Unfortunately, his days are drawing short.

I love this picture of him - which we took last summer.  Now, writing this, I'm not sure if he'll be here for the heat this summer.  His life has had been nothing but a blessing to me and to all who know him.  He is truly just a little angel.

If you pray, please pray for him and for us as we begin our final walk together.  If you don't pray, we'd appreciate it if you'd just keep him in your thoughts.  The knowledge that I will soon lose my precious baby is overwhelming to me and I am struggling to accept it so that I can focus on caring for him in his last days.   At other times I am comforted in knowing that he has had a happy life - and that I pray that I have given him as many happinesses as he deserves. 

xo - tonya
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