The New Couch - Really

I decided to go with the Petrie from Crate and Barrel in white. I'm showing it to you here in pink just for effect.

I also got a matching chair.

I know it's different than my original intentions seemed to suggest but I've gone in a different direction for a number of reasons:

First, Room and Board is in Atlanta, I don't want to make a special trip down there right now, I have had some bad experience with their customer service in the past and the couch I picked out there is shockingly similar, in my opinion, to the one I can't wait to get rid of. They also discontinued said sofa in the color that I need.

Now -

I've always loved the Petrie and after I started seriously thinking about it this weekend, I went back through my scrapbook and realized how many times the same or similar sofa appears in my book. I really hadn't noticed it before but I think it's telling. Also, my current tables and other furniture really soften the look so it doesn't get too George Jetson in here.

It's also the right size and I find it immensely comfortable.

The fact that it's white gives me heart palpitations. It seems so frivolous to me, buying a white sofa. Suffice it to say that such craziness is not undertaken in Appalachia. I'm sure my mother will think I've lost my mind. Kinda exciting, though! The white couch, I mean, not my mother thinking I've lost my mind. She's thought that for a long while, I think, and it's sorta true but that's a whole other blog.

Back. To. The. Couch.

They are delivering it next Thursday.

I can't wait!


Fuzzy Pillow Love

I want one of these pillows for the house.

I also want a new couch to throw it on, but we already know that.

This is Ali Wentworth's fault.


Dear Mom and Daddy....

I sent the following email to my parents today under the subject line "I Want Money" because I figured, you know, what the hell -
Attention Mom and Daddy (or Mr. and Mrs. Moneybags) I would appreciate it if you would send me $1000.00 so that I can buy a new couch, if you've got any extra cash laying around. Thank you for your consideration.

Your angelic and perfectly behaved daughter....

I don't think it will work but I'll either get a "you've got a job, buy your own couch" email back from them OR a check in the mail.

Stay tuned to find out what happens.

I Wasn't But I Wish I Was

Well, you know me.

I never met a coffee table book I didn't love.

I picked this one up today and what can I say?

I'm in Love.


Random Pretty Boy Post

All of the sudden I said -


Oh my.

Why haven't I noticed you before?

And I've watched Sense and Sensibility 147 times.

You can tell he's supposed to be the sexy one because he's always wearing the leather boots while Hugh Grant is prancing around in the men's hosiery.


I Won!

Oh my goodness! I won a major prize!

My friend, Sarah, over at Serendipity hosted a giveaway last week and I won this gorgeous Jonathan Adler Claridge Lamp from CSN Lighting.

Thanks to Sarah for hosting this lovely giveaway and to Random.org for picking me as the winner!

I mean, I've never won anything, except maybe a free drink with purchase somewhere.

It's very exciting!

I'll be sure to post pictures of the lovely lamp in it's new home once it arrives here at Chateau Bee Charmer.


On Fatherly Love

"I want you girls to go to college and get an education so that when the jerks you marry leave you, you will not have to move back home with your mother and me."
Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I love you.


On Living The Dream

"Where do you want to live when you grow up?"

"Exit 18."

My friend, Julie

On Being The Hammer

"Make him sell me that fake Gucci purse."

My best friend, who, despite negotiationg union contracts for a living, believes that it is my responsibility to haggle with Nigerian fake purse salesmen on the streets of foreign countries

On Standards and The Shoe Show

"I'm going over there to look at shoes."

"OK, but they're cheap."

Twenty Seconds Later:
"Those shoes are cheap."

"I told you they were cheap."

"You told me they were cheap. You didn't say they were cheap cheap."

Mall conversation between my friend, Beth, and me

On Bohemian Pretension

"She's just a little too weird, and a little too proud of it."

My friend, Beth, again, and her assessment of a law school classmate with delusions of bohemianism

On Professional Evaluation

"You know, I don't think that 'The Lord' did a very good job."

Rival criminal defense attorney, after criminal defendant announced that his lawyer, 'The Lord', had just advised him to waive his right to a jury trial and confess on all counts

On Personal Pride

"I'm from Texas....DALLAS, Texas!"

My friend, Beth, punctuating her point by slapping her drinking companion across the face


On Desperate Measures

"I need a ho ho."

"What do you want me to do? Go out there and tell him that you're too distraught to sleep and that you need a ho ho?"


Whispered conversation between me and my college roommate, Julie, at 2 in the morning, while hiding out in the dark in my room after a she had a fight with her boyfriend and while we were desperately trying not to laugh at him. We failed.

On The Female Anatomy

"It's a twat. It's not supposed to smell like a field of flowers."

My friend Lisa's mother discussing her disdain of Summer's Eve

On the Male Anatomy

"Some guy on the street told me he had eighteen inches."

"Well, I certainly hope that you told him that you could not accommodate him."

My mother and sister, discussing my sister's trip to New York

On Personal Security

"You don't have to kill him, you just need to mark him."

My father, handing me a pointy screwdriver to take with me to New York

On Keeping Your Options Open

"He asked me if I was dating anybody."

"What'd you tell him?"

"I told him that I had a lot of pretty boys that I call friends."

My best friend and me, discussing her social life

On Genetic Caprice

"Sometimes two pretties make an ugly."

My best friend's father

On Respecting Your Elders

"Grandma, are you supposed to be eating ice cream?"

"No. It'll probably kill me."

"You know if I let you eat that and you die, Mom's gonna be pissed, don't you?"

"Let's just run through the Dairy Queen and get us a little something sweet."
Me, trying to do something with my Grandma

On Southern Tact

"She's not ugly. Well...bless her heart....she's just.....well....she's plain."

My best friend, on a prospective sorority sister

On Living Life

"Tacky is as tacky does."

My best friend's mother

On The Chain of Command

"Will 'The Lord' be joining us today or is he sending an associate?"

Presiding District Court Judge, prior to trial

On Due Process of Law

"Sign a waiver."

Presiding District Court Judge, on being informed by a criminal defendant that he was represented by "The Lord"

On After Lunch Engagements

"Now let's run through the Dairy Queen and get us a little something sweet."
My Grandmother, enlisting my assistance in cheating on her diabetic diet

On Sneaking Around

"Tonya Leann! There are nutty buddies hidden all over this

My Aunt Edie, upon discovering that my hospitalized Grandma had been cheating on her diabetic diet

On A Liberal Arts Education

"But you can teach, can't you?"

My mother, expressing doubt about the value of my political science degree

On Ill Behaved Dates

"Well, shit on him."
My grandmother

On Interpersonal Cooperation

"You're not the only bird with your butt on the bush."
My mother


On the Neighborhood, Part II

"I'm not neighborly."

My Aunt Doris, on why she doesn't like talking to the neighbors

On International Travel

"If I had wanted to see people living in caves, I'd have stayed in West Virginia."

My father, on returning from a scenic bus tour of Ocho Rios, Jamaica

On Wedding Attendance

"Whatever you do, work the room and don't drink beer from a bottle"

My friend Lisa's mother, on proper wedding reception decorum

On the Neighborhood

"I'm surrounded by whores!"



"W. H. O. R. E. S. - WHORES!"
My grandmother, on the state of her neighborhood


Sunday Morning

I headed up to Ikea on Sunday morning.

I had a $100.00 budget but then I got there and I went CRAZY, ya'll.

I bought every single thing I wanted.

I said "Flooty to the Recession! I'm shopping!"

(In case you are unfamiliar with the word "flooty", it's a cuss word my Mother made up. Feel free to incorporate it into your pseudo-prafanity vocabulary. She won't mind.)


I spent $96.22.

What can I say? I tried.

Here's the haul:

I got the martini glasses that I have been coveting.

And a stack of new hand towels for the kitchen:

And in addition to a couple of frames, some magazine organizers and new oven mitts, I got some cute little flower pots and greenery for the mantle in the living room:

I've been unhappy with the mantle since I moved in and I had just about decided that there was no use fooling with it until I can get the new couch and chair in here. And that's still mostly true. For now, the living room is OK, but it's not where I want it to be.

But I saw these little pots and liked them and they are indicative of one of the things that I like most about Ikea and that is this: They often do simple things very, very well. Their household items are well designed and often, don't seem mass produced.
These little pots LOOK expensive but they were actually $2.99 each and they remind me of something one would purchase at Wisteria for substantially more money. I think the same is true of my new martini glasses. They have an expensive, handblown look and yet, they are incredibly inexpensive.
Lots of people use the word "cheap" when describing Ikea but I don't think that's accurate. Their products are inexpensive, but what I like is that they aren't "cheap".
At least that's what I'm gonna keep telling myself.
Oh, I don't but their furniture. You have to draw the line somewhere.


The New Baby

Her name is Anais.

She's petite and very, very purple.


Painted Stairwell



I get that ya'll might not get the full impact of the fabulosity, but I am very excited about this. Unfortunately, the loveliness of the paint has only accentuated the ugliness of the banisters. I am going to make a push to get them painted this weekend.

The wallpaper plan may be permanently on hold. As we discussed before, I had picked out some wallpaper for the entry. Well, I got the estimate back. $1500 to buy 3 double rolls of wallpaper and have it installed (installation was only $175.00). Needless to say, we're not pursuing that plan here at Chateau Bee Charmer.


It's times like these that I am reminded that I am from Appalachia.

Anywho, I have lined up some more budget friendly alternatives and ordered samples. I am actually more excited about these options so we'll see how it goes.

For now, we're enjoying the paint.



There are days, and yesterday was one of those days, when all I can think of are all of the failures and disappointments in my past. I have failed. I have lost. I have let myself and others down. I have lied. I have hidden. I have not always been the person that I wanted to be. And on some days I look at it and I can't forgive myself and don't think that I should be forgiven.

Some days I am a kinder person. But not yesterday.

Intellectually, I know that my life today is the result of my hard work and my successes. And I absolutely know that failure and disappointment teach you lessons that cannot be learned by studying books. I know that it's not so much the falling down as it is how you get up and what you do next.

But on some days, the bad stuff is so much easier to believe. And yesterday was one of those days.

A Loss and Then A Find

Friday I broke my lovely white McCoy bowl. I accidentally dropped it while cleaning and much profanity followed. And I'm still a little distraught. I am incredibly particular about the McCoy that I buy and I have a small, yet very considered collection.

Now, I gotta look for a NEW old white McCoy bowl.

I should tell you at this point that the only real souvenirs I collect when travelling are business cards from shops and restaurants that I enjoy and want to remember. The cards themselves are just as beautiful as they can be, they don't cost anything and they are easy to pack. I come home and put my very favorites into my former beautiful bowl.

The bowl in the above picture is just a "stand in" from Crate and Barrel that I had around the house. If you love it, you can go grab one for not very much.

But back to my story - and this is harder to write coherently than I thought it would be... when I broke the bowl on Friday my business cards scattered all over the floor. And when I bent to pick them up, I had the lovely experience of remembering all of the places from whence they had come. And I was happy that this small joy had arisen from my tragic accident.

Since I enjoyed my little trip down memory lane, I decided that I would share some with ya'll.

First, we have Savoy where I ate the last time I was in New York. We took a cab down to Soho from our midtown hotel and felt very hip, slick and cool. Then we drank (and I spilled) copious amounts of red wine, flirted with the locals and ate in the upstairs dining room. It was a tiny, close restaurant and although I cannot remember what I ate, I remember that they had olives at the bar and that I had a perfectly smashing time. Shout out to Ronna for footing the (considerable) bill. Yay Pseudo-Mom!

Next we have Cafe Marchesa where I recently dined in Key West. I loved Cafe Marchesa and particularly approved of their decor and their French Martinis. The other thing I am still madly in love with is their martini glasses which I strongly felt were incredibly expensive and beyond my reach. Imagine my excitement to have come home and found them for sale at Ikea for $1.99 per stem. I believe they will soon be mine.

City Issue, in Atlanta, was found after a particularly lovely and extremely confusing drive all over, under, around and through Buckhead. We finally found it, quite by accident, I think. It was worth the trip. And the trip was worth the trip. They had some amazing Mid-Century modern pieces and I hope to find it again one day.

We ate at Coco Pazzo in Chicago LONG before Jennifer Aniston decided to frequent it while filming The Breakup. She just won't stop trying to steal our glory. It is tiny and intimate and we were happy to have reservations. I had the best service EVER while dining there and my risotto was to die for. And, you know, the wine...well it goes without saying. After dinner we walked back up Michigan Avenue to our hotel. What a great city and a fun trip.

Sorza is a little restaurant on the Ile St. Louis in Paris. I love it there. Paris in general and Ile St. Louis in particular. If you ever have just one day in Paris, go there. You won't be disappointed. We ate at Sorza on our last trip and this card just reminds me of that beautiful day, in Paris, and being happy.


Charms for the Easy Life

I decided to devote myself to reading this summer. Preferably Southern writers.

I started this book last night and finished it today and I think it is one of the best books I've ever read. I just want to wait a week and then read it all over again.
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