But most of that's really just bullshit and I'm just using this season and this excuse to talk about the subject of the brazilian bikini wax.
Now before all you people who haven't had one get all - you know - up in the air about it, let's take a moment, shall we? (You people who've already been to Brazil - you'll know what I'm talkin' about.)
I first went to Brazil a few years back. It was winter and I had the blahs and I wanted to challenge myself to go something that scared me a little, that pushed me a little out of my comfort zone - something that was at once relatively safe and yet frightened me. Something that I would never do.
And I must have been reading a magazine or something because the subject of the brazilian bikini wax came to my mind.
Now, up until that point, I figured the brazilian was something undertaken by porn stars, trollops and Gwyneth Paltrow.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that something about the idea of doing it revved me up inside a little bit. It made me a little scared. It made me a little apprehensive. And it occurred to me that maybe that feeling of apprehension and 'sort of fear' might also be classified as excitement.
So with trembling fingers I called my local spa and made an appointment and then did a little internet research on the topics of what to expect, how to prepare and possible supplies to lay in.
What I came up with was
- Yes, it'll hurt.
- No, it won't be that bad.
- Take a few advil before you go.
- Don't schedule it right before your period - when you're move sensitive to pain.
- Balmex (or other diaper rash medicine) soothes your girl afterward.
I was wrong.
It really doesn't hurt that much - although I will say that after the first time she was pissed off with me for a day and a half... But the balmex did help.
And it really wasn't that mortifying/embarrassing because if you've been to the gynecologist, there ain't a whole lot about this that will surprise you.
But I pretty much loved it from the start.
Now here's the hard part: trying to explain what there is to love about it.
First, obviously, men love it. Although I had mine for a long time before The Boy came along, the fact that he likes it and pretty much thumps his foot on the ground at the mere mention of the word 'Brazil' certainly doesn't hurt.
But more than that, most importantly, I love it.
It makes me feel sexy. It makes me feel neat and powerful and in control. It makes me feel like I have a secret underneath all my lawyer clothes.
It's been such a huge surprise.
I've been after one of my friends to go try it for years. Years, I tell you.
Well, she finally went (with a certain amount of the expected trepidation) and after one trip she was firmly converted.
I said "It's great, right?!?!?" And she's like "YES!"
But neither one of us can quite explain why.
So if you're looking for a little challenge this spring, why not give it a go? And if you can articulate more fully on just what, exactly, is so great about the brazilian, please do!