The Weekly Bean

Hello,

My name is Finn and this is my sister, Lola.

We have come here today to appeal to you all for your help and hopefully, your intervention.

You see, we are starving.

Our mama, who means well, is confused.  Despite our best efforts to convince her otherwise, and overwhelming scientific evidence, she keeps telling us that we cannot eat 22 8 meals a day and have hourly treats in between meals because, in her delusion, she thinks we need to maintain something that she calls a 'healthy weight'.

We don't know what a healthy weight is, but we don't care if we have one.  We want french fries! 

For instance, yesterday all we had to eat was a breakfast and 2 treats each at lunch and a supper and a rawhide bone after supper and 3 wheat thins each before bed.

Chihuahuas (who - aren't even dogs) get to eat more than that!  (Or at least that's what we heard.)

How can we be expected to live like this?

If it weren't for the dried worms and little sticks and clods of dirt that we eat in the back yard, we'd waste completely away!

Y'all have got to help us!

If you'd like to bring us some bacon or potato chips or popcorn or cheetos or pork chops or hamburgers or hot dogs or pork rinds or ice cream or pupperoni treats please do so immediately.  Slip them in the back yard so we can eat them fast before she catches us!

Help us - before it's too late.  

And thank you!

Oh - mama says that it is rude and naughty to beg for food and when we do it she threatens to swat us on our bottoms.  So if she asks you about this, it was all Lola's idea.