Oh, Really?

I love words.  And I love a clever turn of phrase.  I love slang and I especially love clever slang.  I love the way slang moves language along. 

There is one phrase, however, that has now passed into the vernacular, that makes me crazy.

It makes me cringe.

Every time I hear it, I kind of die.

When it comes out of the mouths of men, I never want to speak to them again.

Here it is:

"For real."

I hate it when people tell me that they are "for real" or that what they are saying to me is "for real".

I hate it when people ask me if I am "for real."

As opposed to what?

"For fake"?  "For faux"?  "For imaginary"? "For pretend"?

I was introduced to a guy a while back.  He told me he was a "for real guy".

Is that a polite, modern way of telling me that he wasn't a bullshit artist?

That he wasn't a lying, cheating pig who is looking to get laid?  

If you have to announce it upfront doesn't that kind of cut against your overall believability?

'Cause, I mean, if I hang out with someone long enough, I'm gonna figure it out - eventually....

Do you say that you're "for real" in an effort to circumvent the figuring out or as a short cut to actually having to earn someone else's trust or regard? 

And then there are the people who insert it into their sentences at every available opportunity, as in:

"For real, I told him that I was for real going to the store.  For real."

Do you really need to use 6 extra words to express that sentiment?  Doesn't "for real" just become a larger, longer, more laborious way to say "Uh"? 

I am prepared for those of you who wish to disagree with me on this, but I have to tell you, my hatred of this phrase shows no signs of abating.

Really.
Image:  A Real Life Boy in Venice Italy by Zombie Sugar Photography.