Hey, Lizard!

So I went to a little cocktail party on Saturday night and met a new friend.

How exciting!  

She and I were discussing the travails of being rednecks in a strange land - she being from the Tennessee mountains and me being from West Virginia. 

Teeth - or the lack thereof - is a wonderful example of our ease and understanding of redneck culture.  It was so nice to bump into someone who spoke the same language....

She related the story of visiting her old home and the conversation involving her acquaintance, Lizard, who had just gotten new dentures and the quote - priceless - of "Hey, Lizard!  I haven't seen you since you got your new teeth!  You look great!" 

And how flattered Lizard was that people noticed.

I told her that I usually have this conversation with people at wakes when I go home to West Virginia.

I'm not sure if y'all know this, but in certain segments of Appalachian society, teeth are optional and ofter saved for special occasions.   Since people generally dress up for wakes, they will put their teeth in as a show of respect for the newly departed. 

At other times, the non-dressed up times at home, teeth are often reserved only for - you know - eating. 

My papaw, for example, would routinely leave his laying around the house when they were not in use and it was not uncommon for him to say "Honey, go out on the swing and bring your papaw his teeth."

These were my formidable years - fetching false teeth off the porch.
Image:  Dentures by Damaged.


  1. I was on the fringe of that conversation. We ought to be writing a book.

  2. I got plenty more where that came from!

  3. Well he had to get new false teeth because his old set was missing a front tooth!


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